Tag Archives: situations

Why I Was Drained by People

At a certain point in my life, I found myself constantly being drained by people.

Interacting with them felt like a chore and I could not figure out why. I blamed it on people initially and just thought people were draining so they naturally drained me.

But I soon realized I was draining myself in a lot of situations because I was forcing things.

I would try so hard to appear a certain way which felt unnatural. It led me to feeling out of it & detached from myself after interactions. I realized I was going beyond myself and being fake.

I was using up unnecessary energy when I could just be natural.

A Word of Wisdom: People are just people. We do not have to allow them to take anything from us, even our energy. 

Furthermore, I had a warped view of people, that influenced me to put on an act.

I saw certain people as being above me.

If I thought someone was above me, I felt I had to show that I was deserving of their time and attention.

This led me to overdoing things and faking my feelings and emotions.

I now realize that no one is above me. I do not have to allow anyone to take my energy and I don’t have to unnecessarily give my energy to anyone.

I do not have to prove myself to anyone, and behaving in a fake way, will not leave me with anything but no energy.

Who I am is enough, and I do not need to force laughter and smiles to maintain friendships.

I can just be, and knowing and accepting that, is so freeing.

Think About It

Am I the only one who constantly finds myself going over the same problems in my head? It’s like my brain doesn’t want to let go of them.

I find myself constantly thinking about the same issue, because either I feel like I don’t know how to resolve the issue, or my anxiety is keeping me from resolving it the right way. So instead, I ponder on it a million times every hour.

I also tend to talk on and on about it. I’ll talk about it with my friends, family members, and, my coworkers. I’ll even talk about it to myself when I’m alone.

I will find any way to bring it into any conversation as well. It’s almost like I need to talk about the problem to validate my feelings.

I expect people to tell me I’m not overreacting and that they see where I’m coming from.

Most of the time, people never feel the problem is as big of a deal as I think it is.

Which always points to anxiety, as being the main issue.

Anxiety makes most problems feel like they are impossible to solve and work through.

All your problems seem like they are the most important thing in the world, and it seems like facing each one, is the hardest battle you ever fought.

With anxiety, no amount of talking about something, thinking about it, is ever enough.

As of late, I’ve been trying to be more active with changing the anxious approach I take to dealing with my problems.

When I catch myself talking too much about the same thing or thinking about it too much, I stop and remind myself, that continuing to bring up a problem won’t solve it.

I’m not going to think my way out of a problem, I’m not going to talk my way out of it. Most times I just need to be bold enough to take the necessary action to make a change.

If I don’t like the way certain things are going at work, I need to address those issues with my boss. Not allow the issue to fester within me, and talk about it all day with my coworkers, because nothing will change.

Which is why, it’s so important to be disciplined with yourself in regards to how you handle your problems. It’s so easy to keep talking about the same thing over and over again because it feels nice to let it out.

Always talking about your problems can be a source of comfort for you, and not engaging in that can feel uncomfortable.

But if something isn’t working, be smart enough to not continuing doing it. You don’t want to continue the same patterns and habits that are getting you nowhere because they feel good. Taking action, is what will really make a difference in your life.

Speaking up for yourself in situations where something bothers you. Willing to be honest even when speaking the truth makes you uncomfortable. Doing things how you want to do them, and not how others want you to do them, is what’s important.

In this journey, you also have to be willing to be okay with not always making everyone happy.

When you begin to do those things (and yes it’s hard to do and will take time) you’ll start to see that there’s no need to talk about the same problem over and over again, because that alone resolves the issue.